I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Watching her eat just hurts me
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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