But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize