wanna go halves on a baby?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
