She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize