Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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