I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
