How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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