spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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