Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
