Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize