I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize