It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
