We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
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