it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Alive.
So much puke
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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