You work out of a Hotel?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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