worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
