we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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