RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
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