I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
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putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize