no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
handjob tips. give me some.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
