I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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