i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
