if you like me you must not know who I am
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
