So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
