We won't sleep together?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
