If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
In America we eat man semen.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
