He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
