Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
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No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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