Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
