I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
