Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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