I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
