just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
