i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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