Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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