a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize