There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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