she smelled like a LAN party
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
