I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
