Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
