i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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