i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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