I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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