I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I think my moral compass just broke
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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