He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
