I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize