so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
