I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
