not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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