Sponge bath it is.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
