this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize