Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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