Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we still banned from the library?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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