my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
operation harelip BJ is a go
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
