I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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