oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
