and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
