I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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