I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
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I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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