i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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