in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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